Years ago, I heard a knock at the door. Opened it and there were a couple of ladies on the porch. I didn’t know them but they were nicely dressed and looked harmless enough. One of them said something like, “Usted es de la familia Pérez?” I said, “Yes.” Then she continues on…en español. Did I mention that we lived in the U.S. at the time? That this was not Guatemala but St. Joseph, Mo? And, even if she believed a Hispanic family to be living at the home, the moment I opened the door she had to have noticed that clearly I am not Hispanic–red hair, freckles, super pale skin. Did I mention Spanish was not her native tongue either? She was not Hispanic anymore than I am. And yet, she proceeded to talk in Spanish, even after my answer had been in English. I remember standing there, grinning inside, thinking, “Are we really going to do this?”(Talk in Spanish when clearly we both speak English.) You’ve possibly guessed that she was a Jehovah’s Witness and we did finish our conversation in Spanish (grin). My guess is she knocked at that door with the intent to share with someone in Spanish and, by golly, she was going to witness in Spanish!
Have you ever done that? Been bound and determined to do something a certain way, and even if something happens to make you reconsider your original approach, you just push forward anyway? It doesn’t always go well, does it? Sometimes common sense, situations, etc., arise and we need to readjust our thinking and original plan instead of just pressing forward.
It reminds me a lot of us and God. His ways and thoughts are not like ours. They are much kinder, more powerful, and even impossible. “Well, that can’t be You, God. That can’t be what You mean because that isn’t even possible.” Or maybe it would require some effort on our part and we “know” an easier way…that would likely work. 🙂 Or His way might hurt. Be hard. Require actual sacrifice. It may (does!) take actual dependence and trust in Him; true faith. Ever find yourself thinking in the following way (even subconsciously)? “This will work. I can do that. I can ‘trust’ You with this because ultimately I can accomplish it if it doesn’t seem like You are going to come through for me…but I’ll give You all the glory.” Snicker. And tears. (Ridiculously funny and yet quite sobering.) If I am honest with myself and stop and think, I can be like that often. I mean it’s scary to trust Him with things we really have no control over. Things that would require us to obey and move forward with but that could just simply fall flat. They may not appear to go well or work out. At all. Then, we take it all in and wonder, “What just happened? What should I do now?” That’s our chance, isn’t it? Our chance to really trust Him; to put our faith in Him. That other “faith and trust”—it’s just fake. Ridiculous! It’s just trusting in our own abilities. Certainly not trusting Him. I think He wants to realign the way we think. He asks us to just plain trust.
I think of this often…what can I offer God? Truly, very little. Obedience. Complete surrender. Trust and faith. My understanding is it pretty much boils down to trust and faith. I think that’s pretty much it. All other things I bring to Him come from that; trust/faith is the root. Maybe that’s why it’s so hard?!
But hard or not, I must. Every part of me loves my God. There is not any part of me that doesn’t. I am convinced He is central to everything I need and want. I’m convinced He is life. That EVERYTHING stems from Him. Obviously, evil does not stem from Him, but He is my only hope to fight against and overcome it. To me, He is…well, GOD. That is why there is a battle and struggle inside of me. Because I want to be fully surrendered to Him; to fully trust Him, but I fight against my flesh, my pride, my selfishness. I struggle because I believe those things can be fought and overcome. That He can enable me to overcome them. That He can constantly change me and make me more like Him.
And I believe He loves me. You. Each person. I pray for others. Not to convert them. Not because they need to be fixed. But because they are loved and wanted by their Creator. If they don’t really know Him, He wants them to. If they know Him but aren’t fully surrendered to Him, He wants them to be. To be separated from Him; not able to be in His presence? That is hell. That is worse than the worst thing we can imagine. But it may not seem that way…until we learn who God is. He gave us words (Bible) to know who He is and how we can interact with Him. He is a river of delights that we cannot fathom. I mean, God is so incredible our minds cannot grasp Him. I seek to know and understand more every day.
My words..they just seem so silly. It’s really probably a waste of your time to read my blog. Seriously, the “curtain was torn” (Matthew 27:51), go in. RUN into His presence. There doesn’t have to be any separation. You can know God. You can interact with Him. You can be in His presence. You are loved. Quit wasting your time here…dive in to His river. Drink deeper than you ever have before. Allow Him to adjust (or readjust) your mind and manner of thinking. Trust Him without holding back. Trust Him.