Now before the Feast of the Passover, when Jesus knew that His hour had come to depart out of this world to the Father, having loved His own who were in the world, He loved them to the end. One of His disciples, whom Jesus loved, was reclining at table at Jesus’ side, So that disciple, leaning back against Jesus, said to Him, “Lord, who is it?” John 13:1, 23, 25
Can you imagine being one of His disciples? Recipients of His attention; in His presence almost constantly? He loved them to the end. The true God. Highest King. All power, all glory–His. Walking around on dusty paths. Touched by unclean people. Sneered at by religious people. Invested in a small group of men He chose and called. Men who were sinful. Ignorant. Faithless. Selfish. He loved them to the end. And they could recline against Him as they asked Him questions? I can hardly imagine sitting at His table….but having such a close friendship that I could lean against Him and ask Him to explain it to me…again? Man leaning against God. Whoa. Whoooaa.
That just feels…well, it feels like we should just take a minute and ponder that. Picture that in your mind. Man is leaning back against Jesus’ chest…talking to Him. Ok, so I’m totally waiting my turn here. Come quickly, Lord Jesus, take me quickly…either way, I’m good. 🙂 Sitting peacefully, talking with my God (who deeply loves me, by the way), leaning back against Him. Asking questions when I’m not sure I understand. Sounds peaceful. Sounds safe. Sounds perfect. And Jesus allowed that much closeness. He offered that security…when He knew what He was going to face very soon. Make no mistake, our God is selfless. Absolutely and entirely selfless. Not sure I can keep writing…I am overwhelmed. I am completely incapable of understanding or expressing who He is….I do not grasp it myself.
I will say this…I do not and will not settle for a lukewarm relationship with this God. He opened my eyes years ago to just how intimate a friendship He offers me. And each day I discover new truths about Him. And I am in love. Fully. Completely. 100% IN LOVE. I hunger for His closeness. His presence. And as stubborn a gal as I am, I press forward to surrender more and more. See, when we do…He pours more of Himself into us. Space cleared out? He MOVES IN!
You think He is just some god you can hear about at church? Some god who demands you read His boring Bible and mumble some half-hearted prayer? You are sadly mistaken, my friend. He is an AMAZING God. My words fail desperately to express who He is. He is a God who invites His people to lean back against His chest. To chat with Him. To ask questions of Him. To receive strength from Him. And be loved by Him. He loved His chosen people until the very end of His time living on earth….and He loves us now. Not one of us, who are His, will He lose. Not one. And this selfless, beautiful God promises to pour blessing after blessing over us and and allow us to live in His presence for all eternity.
That is our God.