God

Needy

A few months ago I was driving in the car thinking. My mind was on overdrive about my life right now. How complicated everything is. Thoughts/prayer to me are basically the same. He (God) knows my thoughts. Only He and I share them. Anyway, He said, “Katie, I want you to need Me.”

Now, I know that. I mean, Christianity 101. It is good and ok to need God. But when you NEED Him….absolutely NEED Him–like no way you can breathe another second without Him, have no idea how future looks, no direction, no idea about how your life is going to be/look, DESPERATELY NEEDY, terrified at how needy you are–you kind of wonder, can I really need Him this much? I have nothing to fall back on. It’s Him and NOTHING else. And then He says, “I want you to need Me.” Not that He understands I need Him. Or that it is ok to need Him/rely on Him some. Not that He will put up with it…at least for awhile. No, He welcomes it; desires it. He wants me to really need Him. It is more than ok. I don’t have to pretend that I’ve got this because I have His Word and I have Him. I can be desperately needy and not ok. I don’t have this at all. We (God and I) both know that. And that is fine. HE has “this” and He has me. I NEED Him. There is no other way.

I am no longer going to politely, timidly, halfheartedly need Him. I am going to blubber like an idiot and cry out to Him that I desperately need Him. And THAT will truly PLEASE His heart. THAT will bring Him joy. THAT will bring me joy.

 

Rebosa mi corazón

Con palabras de amor

Dirijo al Rey mi canción

Postrado en adoración

 

Mi boca quiere expresar

Lo que hay en mi corazón

Y no hay palabras,

Jesús, para expresar mi atracción

 

Sobre Ti, la gracia se derramó sobre Ti

Eres el más hermoso, de los hijos de los hombres

Sobre Ti, la gracia se derramó sobre Ti

Eres el más hermoso, Eres el más deseado,

Porque sobre Ti, la gracia se derramó

— Jesús Adrián Romero

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